Why Pray?
Who’s Listening?

Well, yourself for one! And, frankly, that alone can make a big difference. Occasional times of prayer can do a lot for our peace of mind.

Simply finding the words to voice our situation and desires in our head can help settle our thinking. It can help us work things through, and arrive at decisions. And it can help reduce anxiety and depression. And, even if we are the only one listening, talking to ourselves often helps.

But the fact is, we may not be the only one listening. Prayer changes things, not just in us, but also in those around us. Maybe not massively, but often just enough. Just enough to take another step forward, to see an alternative, to make a connection.

How this happens maybe not as important as that it happens. On one hand, it could simply be that a change in us influences a change in others, or that a change in us provides fresh perspectives or reserves.

On the other hand, there could be connections and influences at work that science has not yet discovered. Even the influence of (as I believe) God. But, whatever your reasoning, whoever you think is or is not listening, it doesn’t really matter. People from a wide range of perspectives who use prayer find that it helps. And at this time of increasing uncertainty, complexity and stress in our lives, we could really use that help.

So, if you are not used to prayer, how might you try it out? Or if your experience of prayer has been restricted to an unfulfilling ‘eyes closed – hands together – recite a list’, what could you do differently?

Here we run through the what, why, where, when, how and who of open prayer …

What is prayer …

Prayer is simply a sincere expression of your heart. It is about deliberately taking time out to express and understand your true emotions about yourself and the world around you – good and bad. Using words, sentences, even written patterns (silently or vocally) can help, providing they remain fully connected with your emotions.

Depending on our situation, our emotions may begin with fear, sadness, resentment, even despair. Wherever our emotions begin, that is where our prayers should start. But, it is psychologically important that they end with a request for how you want things to be different. That they include your hope for what might be, and your gratitude for past and current progress; for good things, or for the bad that hasn’t happened.

Why pray …

At the very least, prayer can provide moments of peace, tranquility and reflection, and these are much needed in our typically busy lives. But, more than this, it gives us checkpoints to take back control of our identity – our ‘being’ amidst our ‘doing’ – who we really are and who we want to be.

In this way, it can help us be our best version of ourselves as we deal with what is happening within us and around us. It can help us be a bit clearer on the path to the outcomes we seek, and to be ready with a thought out response to things, rather than react to them in the moment.

Where and when …

Clearly a quiet room somewhere is an obvious option, but it is not the only one. Furthermore, where we situate ourselves mentally can have little to do with where we are physically. Ideally we will find ourselves somewhere we feel at peace, undisturbed, and maybe inspired. If not physically, then maybe in our imaginations as we close our eyes.

As for when, it is whatever time and frequency best suits you. However, if you are able to do it at the start of the day, this can help better set you up for what lays ahead of you. It is also helpful to consider it whenever you feel you need some time and space during the day.

How …

PRAY conveniently forms a four-step acronym which provides a useful aide-memoire which helps us to ensure that our prayer time is productive: Pause; Reflect; Ask; Yield.

– Pause from your current mental and physical activities. Be still, and slow your breathing. Regather your scattered thoughts to: You; your place in the Universe; and, if appropriate, your presence before God.

– Reflect on how you are feeling at the moment throughout your body. ‘Talk’ silently within yourself about them and what is causing them. Be grateful for the good, and clear about the bad

– Ask clearly and specifically for however you want things to turn out for yourself and others. This helps build clarity and resolve within us for our influence on the outcome, and hope for the bigger picture.

– Yield yourself to whatever may emerge from all of this and your part in that. You can only be you. Others will be themselves. Reminding ourselves of this can help us better cope with what emerges.

Who to …

In terms of who we believe is listening to our prayers, who we are speaking to, that largely depends on whether we allow for a spiritual perspective on things. If you don’t, then we hope that the explanations above have been sufficient to convince you that speaking to yourself in prayer still has great value.

If, however, you do, then you probably already have a sense of where your words are going, and what you hope will emerge from them, and this can add an extra dimension to the power of your prayer.

If you are not sure? Well my own belief, based on my own prayers, is that God listens to every prayer, and loves us all equally. So you can always try that. From my own experience, when I did so, in deep respect, I found both a sense of peace and love, and real spoken answers. But it did take time to get there.

 

For more on mental wellbeing you might find the following useful:

• Hope within brokenness – a personal reflection
• An integrative view of spirituality – explanation
• Making stress healthy and productive – series