Leading by Adventure - 040 - About 'both ... and' thinking

Accelerate your progress to resolving conflict within or between teams – Reconsider how we see problems and our own part within them

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Why take this challenge?

Resolve problems faster and more sustainably

Help breakdown silos and blame between different people and groups

Establish better teamwork from the outset of improvement projects

Graphic image reflecting different pathways to take the adventure

In my thirty-odd years as a consultant I have found that most things I am called to help with involve groups of people who see things differently to each other. They are struggling to find common ground on a way forward, but don’t realise that the issue lies in unreconciled perspectives on the start point.

Einstein is attributed with saying that if he had an hour to solve a problem he would spend the first 55 minutes understanding it. In good problem solving methodologies, the first, and usually the longest, step is ‘defining the problem’. And yet my constant experience is that people tend to want to rush immediately to solutions. They think they know the problem, and they assume their view is correct and complete, even definitive. Even though, this is rarely the case in practice.

Problem sharing, developing a shared view of the problem helps resolve this.

Dave Rawlings wrote an insightful piece that is pertinent to problem sharing a few years ago. His explanation is really useful in helping people understand how our own internal maps lead us into error in this way. I believe such understanding does a lot to make us more mindful of using ‘the first 55 minutes’ well.

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

Both right

When I was sourcing ideas for adventures, a number of people suggested the importance of problem sharing – of working toward a shared perspective on the problem.

Oscar Alting proposed a creative technique to explore disagreements from an explicit baseline assumption that ‘we are both right’. The resulting dialogue, and the level of respect and listening inherent in accepting the assumption, does much to help shared understanding and identification of the key areas which would benefit from further investigation.

So the blue track is, in your next disagreement with someone, pause the discussion and try out ‘both right’ together.

Simply ask the question “What if we were to assume for a moment that we are both right, that both x and y are true, what might be the implications of that?” And then carefully, respectfully, and working as a team together, take it from there.

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

Problem Sharing Exercises

The big advantage of exercises (including the ‘both right’ exercise in the blue track) is that they can help to take the emotions and egos out of the dialogue, and provide dispassionate perspectives from above the issue, or from a different angle. In doing so, they can help to reconcile individual perspectives and bring people together to solve a common problem.

The meeting toolchest includes a number of problem sharing exercises that can help in this way. Ones that you might like to consider the next time you encounter a lack of alignment over the problem to be solved are:

Six thinking Hats – https://meeting.toolchest.org/six-thinking-hats/
Fishbone Diagram – https://meeting.toolchest.org/cause-and-effect-fishbone-ishikawa
Kooshball – https://meeting.toolchest.org/techniques-to-advance-listening-and-shared-understanding-2/
Plus Minus & Interesting – https://meeting.toolchest.org/pmi/

The red track this week is to take a look at each of these so that you can have them to mind as and when you might need them.

You may find the following resource helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop.

If your work involves a lot of situations where people hold opposing views on issues, you might like to take a look at the following resource which I stumbled across online: https://s3.wp.wsu.edu/uploads/sites/2070/2016/08/The-big-book-of-Conflict-Resolution-Games.pdf . I have used some of the Scannells’ games in the past to good effect, and bought a number of their books. I was quite surprised to find this one freely available online – which may be an error, so if you find it of value you might consider buying it.

To catch up on past adventures you may have missed, feel free to browse our Adventures Library

Let us know how you get on.
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Useful links:

Introduction to Leading by Adventure  |  What we mean by spirituality?  |  Why Adventure
Adventures to date   |  I did it, but it didn’t work very well   |  How do I know if it is working
Bringing this thinking into your meetings   |  Adventure & Mental Health
Leading by Adventure community   |  Explore Strategic Support options