relationship Archives

Bulb held over water and a metaphor for gaining new insights from problem sharing

#040 – Problem Sharing

09/11/2021 by Mike Clargo

Accelerate your progress to resolving conflict within or between teams – Reconsider how we see problems and our own part within them

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Why take this challenge?

Resolve problems faster and more sustainably

Help breakdown silos and blame between different people and groups

Establish better teamwork from the outset of improvement projects

Graphic image reflecting different pathways to take the adventure

In my thirty-odd years as a consultant I have found that most things I am called to help with involve groups of people who see things differently to each other. They are struggling to find common ground on a way forward, but don’t realise that the issue lies in unreconciled perspectives on the start point.

Einstein is attributed with saying that if he had an hour to solve a problem he would spend the first 55 minutes understanding it. In good problem solving methodologies, the first, and usually the longest, step is ‘defining the problem’. And yet my constant experience is that people tend to want to rush immediately to solutions. They think they know the problem, and they assume their view is correct and complete, even definitive. Even though, this is rarely the case in practice.

Problem sharing, developing a shared view of the problem helps resolve this.

Dave Rawlings wrote an insightful piece that is pertinent to problem sharing a few years ago. His explanation is really useful in helping people understand how our own internal maps lead us into error in this way. I believe such understanding does a lot to make us more mindful of using ‘the first 55 minutes’ well.

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

Both right

When I was sourcing ideas for adventures, a number of people suggested the importance of problem sharing – of working toward a shared perspective on the problem.

Oscar Alting proposed a creative technique to explore disagreements from an explicit baseline assumption that ‘we are both right’. The resulting dialogue, and the level of respect and listening inherent in accepting the assumption, does much to help shared understanding and identification of the key areas which would benefit from further investigation.

So the blue track is, in your next disagreement with someone, pause the discussion and try out ‘both right’ together.

Simply ask the question “What if we were to assume for a moment that we are both right, that both x and y are true, what might be the implications of that?” And then carefully, respectfully, and working as a team together, take it from there.

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

Problem Sharing Exercises

The big advantage of exercises (including the ‘both right’ exercise in the blue track) is that they can help to take the emotions and egos out of the dialogue, and provide dispassionate perspectives from above the issue, or from a different angle. In doing so, they can help to reconcile individual perspectives and bring people together to solve a common problem.

The meeting toolchest includes a number of problem sharing exercises that can help in this way. Ones that you might like to consider the next time you encounter a lack of alignment over the problem to be solved are:

Six thinking Hats – https://meeting.toolchest.org/six-thinking-hats/
Fishbone Diagram – https://meeting.toolchest.org/cause-and-effect-fishbone-ishikawa
Kooshball – https://meeting.toolchest.org/techniques-to-advance-listening-and-shared-understanding-2/
Plus Minus & Interesting – https://meeting.toolchest.org/pmi/

The red track this week is to take a look at each of these so that you can have them to mind as and when you might need them.

You may find the following resource helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop.

If your work involves a lot of situations where people hold opposing views on issues, you might like to take a look at the following resource which I stumbled across online: https://s3.wp.wsu.edu/uploads/sites/2070/2016/08/The-big-book-of-Conflict-Resolution-Games.pdf . I have used some of the Scannells’ games in the past to good effect, and bought a number of their books. I was quite surprised to find this one freely available online – which may be an error, so if you find it of value you might consider buying it.

To catch up on past adventures you may have missed, feel free to browse our Adventures Library

Let us know how you get on.
Share your experience, your insights and your observation using the comments section at the bottom of the Linkedin post.

Please help us to extend and develop our community by sharing what you are doing. Click on the links below where you are most active, and then like or share the article to your network. Thank you for helping.

And share your progress and insights with the Twitter LbA community using #leadingbyadventure

Useful links:

Introduction to Leading by Adventure  |  What we mean by spirituality?  |  Why Adventure
Adventures to date   |  I did it, but it didn’t work very well   |  How do I know if it is working
Bringing this thinking into your meetings   |  Adventure & Mental Health
Leading by Adventure community   |  Explore Strategic Support options

Image of person looking at themselves as illustration of triangulation reframing

#033 – Triangulate your Character

31/01/202321/09/2021 by Mike Clargo

Use reframing to understand and reshape your impact and influence on those around you – O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us. To see oursels as ithers see us!

Please help us to get the word out in just two clicks – click here – then click the like button

Why take this challenge?

Develop a clearer perspective on how you come across to other people

Provide opportunities to reflect yourself to others in a way that is more effective

Increase your impact and influence in achieving things for and through others

Graphic image reflecting different pathways to take the adventure

Before GPS, triangulation was the means used to determine the position of something. It was a vital component for locating your own position when you weren’t sure where you were. Basically it was a means of taking a perspective on something from different known positions to better understand its location.

Reframing is a sociological version of triangulation, but with a lot less maths.

In reframing, we view an entity, an idea or a situation from different stakeholder perspectives to gain a clearer understanding of its perception: Its impact, influence, appearance, significance, …

The result can help people appreciate a more complete and comprehensive ‘truth’ about things they typically only consider from their own perspective. And, as a result, it can help them reshape things to have a better impact.

So, the key questions are, in the long run: Are we who we believe ourselves to be? Or are we what other people perceive? To what extent are those different things? And does that difference matter? For example, in terms of our ability to influence and bless others?

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

Triangulate ourselves

So our green track this week is to triangulate ourselves from the perspectives of: Ourselves; our team; our leadership; our family; and our friends?

Clicking the image on the right will open up a template you can use to lay out your thoughts. Start in the centre with your self-perception, and then move clockwise around the other four perspectives.

We would suggest you use the following colour coding for the notes you add to each section: Yellow for things you know; pink for things you suspect; blue for things you ought to know but don’t.

Once you have finished your self-triangulation, you might want to pick one or two things you would really like to be different: Things you want to find out, or confirm, or change. You could perhaps add these as green notes.

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

Triangulate your team

The blue track is to try the same thing this time with your team, but to triangulate using different perspectives: Your members (yourselves); your customers; your suppliers; your organisation; your professional peers (e.g. those who are associated with fulfilling similar roles in other organisations).

Share the URL for the template (you will find the team template below the personal template on the whiteboard you opened in the green track) and invite your team to add their own thoughts to each of the perspectives. This could be a free for all, or by dividing into breakouts to tackle different sections, and then reviewing altogether. You can use the same conventions to triangulate as proposed in the green track.

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

You may find the following resources helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop

To catch up on past adventures you may have missed, feel free to browse our Adventures Library

Let us know how you get on.
Share your experience, your insights and your observation using the comments section at the bottom of the Linkedin post.

And share your progress and insights with the Twitter LbA community using #leadingbyadventure

Useful links:

Image related to bringing the best version of yourself

#022 – Bringing the Best Version of Yourself

21/12/202101/06/2021 by Mike Clargo

Creating a climate in which authenticity and creativity thrive – Being the person who makes the difference to your meetings

Please help us to get the word out in just two clicks – click here – then click the like button

Why take this challenge?

Create meeting climates which bring out the very best in people

Shift your team culture to one in which people can fully be themselves

Be more in control of how your emotions help create the relationships you need

Graphic image reflecting different pathways to take the adventure

Brene Brown’s inspirational TED talk on connecting with others, describes the importance of courage – the openness to share all of yourself, flaws and all, whole heartedly.

So, I would like you to imagine your next team meeting, and to imagine you are going to be totally open. How do you feel? Can you feel a slight tightness around your heart?

Do you fear that some people would use it against you. Perhaps you feel they might judge you?
And does that feeling, that thought, make you defensive? It would me.

Vulnerability IS key to effective teamwork, but only in the right climate. It is virtual suicide in the wrong one.

Given the importance of such vulnerability to team performance and potential, it becomes clear that the climate is something we need to better understand and manage. And to take responsibility for our own part in that.
And that is the subject of this week’s adventure.

It is based on the work of Otto Scharmer. And it is about our willingness to be honest (at least with ourselves) about what is currently happening inside us in response to what is being said (spoken and unspoken) outside us.

When we look into ourselves, do we sense open and inclusive feelings and attitudes of curiosity, compassion and courage? Or are we finding ourselves tending to judgement, cynicism and a degree of fear over what might develop if ‘it is not addressed’.

The former ‘open’ feelings and attitudes are great for creativity, honesty, bonding and insight, but they are fragile.

Conversely, the latter ‘closed’ feelings risk blame, politics, resentment, and disengagement, and they are contagious. ‘Openness’ all too easily turns to ‘closed’ attitudes in response to sensing ‘closed’ responses in others. And this is deep within our human DNA.

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

Monitoring your internal condition

So, the green track this week is to understand a bit more about Scharmer’s model by reading a short post on it. And to use that understanding to try and monitor your internal condition in your next meeting.

Use a timer to check inside yourself every few minutes, and just make a note of whether you feel open, closed or in the middle, and what may have made you that way. Then deliberately try and reset yourself to ‘open’ and see if you can maintain it.

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

Monitoring their internal condition

Before you attempt to use monitoring internal condition with your team, try to build up your own ability to maintain awareness of internal condition. Both your own, and the overall climate of the meeting at any point.

Develop your own practical understanding of what is happening within yourself and in the climate of the meeting. What shifts it one way or another. And what are the consequences of either state in terms of achieving the purpose of the meeting and the team.

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

Monitoring our internal condition

If you are up to it. Introduce the idea of Scharmer’s work to your team. Talk about your observations from the Blue track in a way that people can remain open to it. Avoiding anything that might put individuals on the defensive.

And see how the team feels about trying it out for themselves.

If they are ‘up for it’, pause the meeting at regular points (perhaps every 15minutes, or when the climate shifts perceptibly) and invite people to silently check their own inner condition, and to think about the overall climate at that point.

And then lead a discussion or exploration regarding how the dynamics developed, and what we can all do differently.

You will know you are going in the right direction when you find the language creeping in to the meeting itself, and people willing to be open about their own part in ‘getting it wrong’.

This meta-level monitoring of ourselves and the meeting can make meetings many more times more efficient and effective.

You may find the following resources helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop

To catch up on past adventures you may have missed, feel free to browse our Adventures Library

Let us know how you get on.
Share your experience, your insights and your observation using the comments section at the bottom of the Linkedin post.

And share your progress and insights with the Twitter LbA community using #leadingbyadventure

Useful links:

People pondering around a campfire on a beach - metaphor for hopes and concerns exercise

#020 – Campfire Truths

31/01/202317/05/2021 by Mike Clargo

Discover where people are coming from and their expectations – Build greater awareness and ownership for the outcomes

Why take this challenge?

Clear the air and understand where people might be coming from.

Understand any initial differences in expectations.

Build greater awareness and ownership for the outcomes.

Simply build a shared understanding, a shared hope.

Graphic image reflecting different pathways to take the adventure

This weeks challenge for you and your team is called Hopes and Concerns.

At one level Hopes and Concerns is extremely simple. It is a flipchart divided down the middle, and people place their hopes on one side and their concerns on the other.

Hopes and concerns for what? Well it could be for anything: A meeting; the week ahead; a new project; the business; a change initiative – whatever.

However, its simplicity belies its power. Hopes and concerns is a great tool for: Aligning people behind objectives; surfacing hidden agendas; developing balanced perspectives; understanding each other; building ownership and getting things started.

If you are using a virtual whiteboard in your meeting, people can stick up their thoughts on sticky-notes, and then they can be grouped and discussed. Alternatively, you can use a virtual flipchart to capture contributions offered by the group verbally.

A couple of important tips that help ensure the quality of this exercise:

To get balanced contributions, get people to write down two of each silently, and confirm they have all done so before inviting them to stick them up or shout them out
Say to the group: “We’ll keep these visible so that we can all work toward fulfilling the hopes and avoiding the concerns”. In this way you share responsibility for them and make the desired outcomes more likely

Also, it there are any items on either list that you will not be able to do anything about. Simply make that clear from the outset, and say that we can pick it up again after the meeting.

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

What are your hopes & concerns?

Try hopes and concerns out for yourself. Download the hopes and concerns flipchart template (you will find a link to it in the pack section below) and consider an upcoming change you are facing personally. Start with the hopes, and write down at least 5 before you move onto the concerns.

We do this first to counter a human tendency to see the risks before the potential benefits. Then write down at least 5 concerns. And keep going until you think you have covered everything.

Then look at the list, and ask yourself how you are feeling about it. And whether there is anything else you could be doing now to make yourself more confident and comfortable about how this is going to pan out.

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

Exploring your team’s hopes & concerns

Repeat the green track exercise for the next meeting you are leading that is 90 minutes or more. Use the Hopes and Concerns exercise like a check in – asking each person in turn for a hope and a concern, and adding them to the board or flipchart. Then ask if there are any other hopes or concerns which people have, that are not yet included.

If you are not a very experienced facilitator, ask the group simply to keep these things in mind as we progress through the meeting, so that we can all help realise the hopes of our colleagues, and protect against their concerns.

If, on the other hand, you are quite skilled and confident in facilitation. Then ask the group whether it would be useful to make any adjustments to the agenda to best meet these. Or whether they are happy to keep the agenda as it is and pick any issues up at the end. (The latter is the most likely response. But, if you get the former, at least you are then in a position to resolve any issues of expectations or politics before the meeting starts).

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

Building a hopes & concerns habit

Having tried hopes and concerns on yourself, and in a meeting, the next step is to extend its use to other things.

Think forward to events, activities and situations where it might be useful to: Clear the air and understand where people might be coming from; Understand any initial differences in expectations; Build greater awareness and ownership for the outcomes; Simply build a shared understanding, a shared hope.

And then put it into use in those situations where you feel it will add value.

You may find the following resources helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop

Explanation of Hopes & Concerns
Hopes and concerns virtual flipchart – PowerPoint file
Whiteboard template for Hopes & Concerns – Conceptboard

To catch up on past adventures you may have missed, feel free to browse our Adventures Library

Let us know how you get on.
Share your experience, your insights and your observation using the comments section at the bottom of the Linkedin post.

And share your progress and insights with the Twitter LbA community using #leadingbyadventure

Useful links:

Writing paper plane in a open sky as a metaphor for where words can transport you - verbal voyages

#013 – Verbal Voyages

30/03/2021 by Mike Clargo

Only say ‘Yes, and …’ and see what new perspectives await you – Give your curiosity a serious workout today! Header gif of a writing paper plane in a open sky as a metaphor for where words can transport you - verbal voyages

Please help us to get the word out in just two clicks – click here – then click the like button

Why take this challenge?

To practice plussing and develop the skills, language and reflexes of building on ideas

To explore the impact on people, situations and your own learning of sustaining the positive

To practice skills that challenge your team and help it grow in creativity and insight

Graphic image reflecting different pathways to take the adventure

I am grateful to Andy Denne for this week’s exercise. And I have to admit, it is going to be every bit as big a challenge on me as it will be on you.

You may have seen the film ‘Yes Day’ promoted recently, where two parents decide that for 24 yours they will only say ‘Yes’ and not ‘No’. Well this is not that, well not quite.

This is ‘yes’ day with responsibilities built in. It is ‘yes, and …’ day. As in “Yes, and … to make that work effectively we need to find a way to … overcome this obstacle … or deal with these risks/consequences”. Not “No, because …”, nor even “Yes, but …” – For an entire 24 hours, only “Yes, and …”

“Yes and …” comes from the world improvisational comedy, but has great application to the world of business also. The challenge will be how quickly and creatively you can think about what else needs to happen to make what is suggested not only possible, but a good idea.

It is not about putting your reservations to one side, it is about embracing them and turning them on their head to invite further creativity in how to deal with them. It is a really great skill set to have. It leads to new possibilities, innovation and adventure. It raises energy, grows ownership, and encourages vision and teamwork. It is about seeing and staying with possibilities long enough to fully explore their potential.

The interesting thing about human beings is that we mentally emphasise the downsides of new ideas. We see the risks many times faster and more clearly than we see the possibilities. And because of this we tend to write things off before we’ve had any real opportunity to fully explore their potential. We stifle innovation.

But innovation rarely comes as just one new idea. It usually needs a lot more smaller new ideas around it to make it work. And those supporting ideas take openness and a bit of time.

“Yes, and …” buys that time

So the challenge this week is to determine, to commit (because it does need resolve) to give “Yes, and …” a try. And to see where that takes you.

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

A “Yes and …” meeting

Okay, 24 yours is definitely too long for the Green Track. But how about a meeting? Perhaps even a short interaction? You can make your promise to yourself as the meeting opens.

And because you are online, you can probably prop up a big “Yes, and … ” card in front of you as a reminder.

Some verbal devices that may help you are:

Yeah, … and … I am curious how we might …
Yes, … and … has anyone got any ideas to make …
It would be great to see that. And to do that, we will need to think through …

But if I might offer a word of warning. It would be all to easy if you are not careful to drift from openness to sarcasm and irony. And if you let your wit get the better of you, you will not only have been negative, you will have been punitive.

If it is to work, this has to be done with sincerity. It is about a voyage of exploration. Please don’t make it a cul-de-sac.

Throw yourself into the adventure. Yes there are risks, but not ones you cannot handle. If you get something wrong, you can always go back to it after the meeting.

If you are thinking of doing the blue track, transcribe the meeting using a tool like Otter.ai (which transcribes 40 minutes for free)

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

“Yes and …” practice

Use your transcript to review how you got on in your Green Track meeting. Highlight each time you successfully used “Yes, and …” in green, and each time it went wrong in red, but please don’t let the results depress you. New skills take time to develop.

Then think about what emerged for you personally, and the group as a whole from the times when you got it right. The things you might be looking for are an increase in ideas, an increase in positive humour and energy, perhaps something unexpected or new.

I am hoping that you will either be able to see the potential of ‘Yes, and …’ or you can perhaps see the need to get better at it.

Either way, I am hoping that you will extend this approach and review to one or two meetings a week, and see how you get on. And that as you grow more proficient you can extend it wider.

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

“Yes and …” culture

Andy Denne, a fan of ‘Improv’ thinking, introduces ‘Yes, and …’ in his workshops and training sessions as something for the whole group to practice. And to flag up when it is not being used.

He explains the reasons why, and what he is looking for, and then introduces a paired exercise for people to practice, and then allows the conversation to flow.

Initially, he will pick up on where the team gets it wrong by interjecting a quick ‘Yes, and …’ which introduces a helpful pause in the proceeding while the person speaking rethinks how they might turn what they were going to say into something that is more positive and more open to the possibilities.

And then people get more skilled at picking it up themselves, and in their colleagues. Flagging it gently, and waiting for an adjustment. The result is a more efficient, more creative more positive form of dialogue.

So the red track, if you are up to it, is to start the same movement in one of your teams.

You may find the following resources helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop

To catch up on past adventures you may have missed, feel free to browse our Adventures Library

Let us know how you get on.
Share your experience, your insights and your observation using the comments section at the bottom of the Linkedin post.

And share your progress and insights with the Twitter LbA community using #leadingbyadventure

Useful links:

Empathy for a person sitting in an unusual situation on a rock in the middle of water

#012 – Hello Old Friend

23/03/202122/03/2021 by Mike Clargo

Explore simple ways to make your meetings more collaborative and engaging – Bring back the humble flipchart to your remote meetings Picture of flipchart use in rural Kenya

Please help us to get the word out in just two clicks – click here – then click the like button

Why take this challenge?

Increasing the sense of being part of a team adventure – seeing our footprints in new territory

Increased options and opportunity for participation and engagement in online meetings

The ability to visibly capture and record ideas for the group while retaining full interpersonal connection

Graphic image reflecting different pathways to take the adventure

In our Leading by Adventure to date, our focus has been pretty much about adventuring ourselves, and not so much about leading others in their adventures. So in this adventure we are stepping out into that space. We are asking how, in our locked down, remote world of work do we encourage others to join in our adventure. To release in them more joy of discovery and creativity, and to enable them to see their own foot prints in new territory – their contribution to the new reality they are bringing about?

Clearly, if you know me, you will recognise that my stock answer to “how we do this” is through a particular style of facilitation and virtual whiteboards. And one day, it will be. But I am finally coming round to see that most people are not yet ready for that.

And I reflect back to good facilitator colleagues, and what they have managed to achieve simply through questions, conversations and the humble flipchart.

However, the flipchart too has been a casualty of the ‘webcam vs shared screen’ thinking of online meetings. And that set me to wondering – what if I could build a half-way house? Something that brought the flipchart back to the webcam, and formed a bridge between comforting familiarity and the possibilities of the internet for new ways of collaboration? A way of engaging participation without the disruption of a shared screen. Something that maintained our ‘face’ to ‘faces’ interaction, but still captured and honoured contributions, and gave a sense of progress – like flipcharts always used to.

And so this weeks adventure is to play with what I have created in this space. As always, the adventure is about simply taking another new perspective and see what the possibilities look like from there. What you then do with it is up to you.

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

Bring back the flipchart

Flipcharts were a wonderful mechanism. They made the conversation, and the patterns of insight visible. People could see their contribution to an emerging conclusion. And the consensus of opinion was more explicit.

But as meetings have moved online, their use has declined, and their digital alternatives not been quite as convenient. As a result, if you look back over your meetings of the last year, your may see that some of these benefits have been lost.

So the green track this week is to choose to redress the balance a bit – to bring the flipchart back into your next meeting. You could do it physically if you have space and the right lighting/webcam. Or on a shared whiteboard if everyone is comfortable with that.

Or, if you are feeling a bit more adventurous, try out the Virtual Flipchart in the blue track.

But the goal is to actively use a flipchart to pose a question, and to draw out the perspectives onto it – like we used to.

Even if that is only for the check in: What are you feeling today?

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

The flipchart enabled webcam

Over the past month, I have been working on a virtual flipchart. Something simple, easy and instant, that can be used conveniently in more meetings for more situations. So the blue track this week is simply to try it out in a few meetings (see how to download it here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/virtual-flipcharts-how-add-them-your-webcam-mike-clargo and to see what emerges.

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

Improving your flipchart skills

Like most meeting tools – it is not how the people work on the flipchart, but how the flipchart works on the people that is important. The product of a meeting is not what people put on to the pages, but what those pages put into the people – insights, understanding, alignment, confidence, cohesion, commitment, …
So the red track is about revisiting the real potential of flipcharts, and to choose to become more masterful in their use. To help you in this, you may find the following useful paper on flipcharts.

You may find the following resources helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop

To catch up on past adventures you may have missed, feel free to browse our Adventures Library

Let us know how you get on.
Share your experience, your insights and your observation using the comments section at the bottom of the Linkedin post.

And share your progress and insights with the Twitter LbA community using #leadingbyadventure

Useful links:

#009 – Not Your Usual Seat – Building Empathy

09/03/202109/02/2021 by Mike Clargo

Develop insights that will help you to improve the relationships around you – help others to move past their points of ‘stuckness’ simply by asking questions

Please help us to get the word out in just two clicks – click here – then click the like button

Why take this challenge?

Develop insights that will help you to improve the relationships around you

Help others to move past their points of ‘stuckness’ simply by asking questions

Form relationships that stretch you and better develop you for #futurework

Graphic image reflecting different pathways to take the adventure

The future of work is increasing rates of automation, change, complexity, uncertainty …

And OPPORTUNITY!!!

But to engage with that opportunity, we need to be able to cope with all of the rest. As AI and automation take over the routine in our roles, we will increasingly be left with the things that are not routine – basically our roles will revolve around change. Change in our circumstances, our tools, our roles. And change in our own expectations and those of others.

Key to coping with this will be learning and relationships. To be good at this stuff, we need to spend more time with people and ideas.

But unfortunately, busy-ness, uncertainty and complexity are driving us the other way. It is becoming harder to simply take time out for a chat, or to explore a new concept. But unless we do, we will fall behind, the busy-ness will increase, and we will fail to compete and fall into a spiral of decline.

So our adventure for this week is about taking a different perspective on reaching out to new people and new ideas. Seeing what things look like from the other side, and building our abilities (and hopefully our joy) in looking at things through someone else’s eyes.

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

Empathy Walk

Making deeper, meaningful connections with people is increasingly important for all of us. There is an old adage – before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. The point is that doing so will help you better understand their situation, and help you find more constructive means to improve the relationship and what you both get from it.

But why wait for something to go wrong? Walking a mile in their shoes can help you also see new opportunities. So the green track is doing exactly that.

Think around your network and find someone whose situation you do not fully appreciate, and determine to plan 30 minutes just to get to know them better as a person. This exercise is not entirely unlike Walk and Listen, except it is more focused on their work context (and you don’t have to walk).
Here are some questions that may help you to get things underway:

For you, what are the good bits about where our work overlaps?
And what are the bits that are not so good for you? And why?
Can you share with me a bit about what happens at your end? What it would be like for me if we were to end up in each others shoes for a moment?
If I could do anything different to help you play your part in a better, more enjoyable way, what might that be?
Are there any questions you have about what goes on at my end?

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

That is a really good question.

There is a wonderful listening technique within counselling that not only helps you to understand someone’s situation better, it helps them understand their own situation better too.

It works by seeking to create a picture of what is going on in another person’s mind in your own, and to do so solely by asking questions. For the listener, their goal is to only put into their mind what the other person has said, until they reach a point where they can anticipate what the other person would do in a particular situation and why. It is an act of systematic curiosity.

And it has this amazing effect around situations where the other person finds themselves stuck. As you try and construct the ‘stuck’ picture in your own head, in trying to fully understand the ‘stuckness’ you end up unearthing the blind spots and ask questions that the other person not only hadn’t considered, but hadn’t even recognised as a question.

So the blue track is to have this conversation with someone who is stuck. But it is absolutely key that your goal is NOT to help the other person to solve their problem – that will lead to suggestions and assumptions, which derail the technique. Your goal is solely to understand their thinking, and you do this purely with questions.

Sticking to open questions and questions of clarification is fine, but avoid any question that is a veiled attempt to propose a solution.

Trust in the technique – if you are determined to do you part in understanding well, they will eventually find the next steps for themselves – if only to find the answer to your question. For more on this, take a look at the steps to listening part of the Walk and Talk post

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

Breaking out of the Echo Chamber

The Red Track is basically somewhere where you probably don’t want to go. It is about listening intently and respectfully to views you disagree with at a pretty fundamental level.

We are all becoming more aware of the echo chamber effect, and we can see its impact on groups of people who are developing increasingly radical perspectives. As a result their views appear to become more polarised and reflect less and less that we can engage with.

What we may be less aware of is our own echo chamber. As opposing views become more polarised, we find that it is easier to recognise and exclude them. As a result we too are hearing less and less of what might otherwise maintain balance.

So the red track is a real challenge. It is about deliberately spending time in an echo chamber that is not your own, and trying to see things from that perspective.

To help you, I have included two important resources in the pack section.

You may find the following resources helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop

To catch up on past adventures you may have missed, feel free to browse our Adventures Library

Let us know how you get on.
Share your experience, your insights and your observation using the comments section at the bottom of the Linkedin post.

And share your progress and insights with the Twitter LbA community using #leadingbyadventure

Useful links:

Glass orb - people on beach - getting to know someone better through their story and through walking and listening

#006 – Walk and Listen

19/02/202109/02/2021 by Mike Clargo

Walk and Listen . Get to know someone better through their own story in their own words. Don’t let Covid constrain our working practice more than it has.

Why take this challenge?

Build better, closer understanding with the people ‘around’ you.

Recognise people in their own story and enjoy the privilege of sharing in that story.

Break out of the working patterns that Lockdown has imposed upon us.

Back when working life was more ‘normal’, I used to organise ‘Walk and Talk‘ activities for mixed groups of different clients in the Derbyshire Peaks.

They were always a huge success. There is something about the rhythm of walking that makes silence okay, and keeps the brain moving.

Recently, Dietmar Harteveld suggested a walk and talk to me – him walking in Yorkshire, and me in Essex, connected by our mobiles, and I have to say it worked great. It felt so good to be out of the house. And it felt like he was there keeping pace beside me.

And it prompted me to think of an Adventure that Miles Protter proposed to me at the start of all this, and the realisation that now, in the heart of the restrictions, will be perfect for it.

So this week’s adventure is about two things, both of which thumbs our nose at Covid: walking virtually with someone; and making a real human connection through listening to their story.

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

What is your story?

Miles points out that very few people have ever been asked to talk about themselves. To have 15 minutes uninterrupted focus on them and their story, told in their way. If you stop and think about your team, and you were to ask each of them: “What is your story?”, would you know what each would answer? Do you know what you would answer?

So Miles’ adventure is: Ask someone out for a (virtual) walk where they tell their story. Without interruption or questions. For at least 15 minutes. Just explain to them that you realise you don’t really know their story, and that you would like to hear it. You want to understand a bit more about the things in their lives. And what they feel brought them to who they are today?

But please bear in mind that you should be prepared that they might ask the same thing of you.

Our hope is that the walk, and the talk, will reignite some of the human elements that may have been struggling of late.

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

What is their story?

If you find you get something out of the green track, consider extending this adventure to the other people in your team. And to other colleagues, customers, your network, anybody with whom you have regular contact. Simply explain the rationale, and perhaps use your green track experience as a example of why you think you will find it of value.

Not everyone will go for it, but that is okay too!

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

Planning for a virtual future

There is something about going on a 15-30 minute walk with someone, particularly when you don’t have to talk: You can start out in companionable silence, but then something will always spark a conversation.

The reality for many of us in the new normal is that there will be less opportunity for coffee machine conversations, and so we will need to find a way to replace this with other things that keep our working relationships human.

The red track is about creating a culture for your team where they have regular walk and talks together. Where the goal is always to understand and appreciate each other better. To practice curiosity in each other, and avoid judgement. To build empathy, and to build the skills of building empathy.

You may find the following resources helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop

General guidance on walk and talk: https://meeting.toolchest.org/walk-and-talk-meetings/
Useful ‘getting to know more about you’ questions from Forbes and Sign-up-Genius

To catch up on past adventures you may have missed, feel free to browse our Adventures Library

Let us know how you get on.
Share your experience, your insights and your observation using the comments section at the bottom of the Linkedin post.

And share your progress and insights with the Twitter LbA community using #leadingbyadventure

Useful links:

Acknowledgements:

Inspired by Miles Protter, Steve Quinn, Dietmar Harteveld, and Jeremy Clare, and all of those who have helped me shape and trial Walk and Talk over the years: Andrew Taylor, Andy Withers, Bev Shepherd, Bill Pigg, Bob Judd, Brian Holliday, Bryan Sargeant, Chandra Lodhia, Clare Holden, Dario Buccheri, Derek Silcock, Dilip Popat, Ian Winter, Jennifer Atkinson, Jeremy Clare, Jonathan Chappel, Juergen Maier, Malcolm Denham, Mark Holden, Mark Preston, Mark Richardson, Mark Savage, Martin Panak, Martin Stow, Mike Brown, Mike Clargo, Peter Desmond, Phil Ranson, Richard Warren, Robin Phillips, Russ Spargo, Sarah Amies, Simon Ormston, Steve Blakeman, Steve Watters, Wayne Tantrum, Wendy O’Sullivan, Zoe Keens