mentor Archives

Field of barley - convoluted link to habits via 'when (not) in Rome' and the final scene of Gladiator

#036 – No Longer in Rome – Changing Habits

12/10/2021 by Mike Clargo

Change habitual patterns to make you more effective in what you seek to do – Use simple techniques to break unwanted habits and create new supportive ones

Please help us to get the word out in just two clicks – click here – then click the like button

Why take this challenge?

Free yourself of the habits that undermine you effectiveness and purpose

Efficiently adopt new habits which better support your purpose

Take more control over who you are and who you are becoming

Graphic image reflecting different pathways to take the adventure

Back in our second adventure – That’s not me! – we looked at how we can gain a greater sense of freedom and control by challenging our habitual patterns and deliberately doing something different for a moment. We have also brushed alongside this idea in our two most recent adventures – in intentionally being ‘diverse’, and in changing our practices to feed the values we choose.

In this week’s adventure, we are going to go a step further and look at making more sustainable changes to our habits. Perhaps changes which incorporate all of the above, but also changes that deliberately reconsider our typical routines in terms of how they might be adjusted in order to better support who we want to be.

Now, to be frank, neither habit-breaking or habit-setting is part of my particular skill set. So in this adventure I am turning to speakers and resources who speak sense and who have made a name for themselves in this space.

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

Breaking old habits

We all have them. Behaviours that we know are not good for us, but we find we do them anyway. We are not proud of them, and would really like to break out of them, but we find ourselves some sort of prisoner within them.

Judson Brewer has great common sense advice on using ‘curiosity’ as a powerful simple way of breaking the patterns that hold us captive. He explains the approach in this simple TED talk.

So the green track is to:

Watch Judson Brewer’s TED talk
Identify a habit you would like to break
Use Judson’s advice to apply mindfulness and curiosity to decoupling the cycle and allowing you to step out of it

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

Adopting new habits

Adopting a new habit that is good for us is often as difficult for us as stopping a bad habit that isn’t. As anyone with a track record in failed New Year’s resolutions can testify.

Christine Carter has a profound and surprising insight into why we find adopting a new habit so difficult, which she explains in her TED talk.

It is determined by our ambition for the new habit, and our capacity to be willing to be ‘bad’ at it until we get it established. Her simple strategy – make the change really small until it happens naturally. She also has provided free resources to support this thinking.

So the blue track is:

Watch Christine Carter’s TED talk
Identify a habit you would like to build
Use Christine’s advice to establish it in a small, simple, unambitious way

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

Developing a new habit strategy

Back in Adventure #031 we looked at a matrix technique for better supporting your outcomes with your activities. The red track is to use this approach to review the impact and influence of your habits and routines on the impact you want to have.

Simply list along the top of the matrix up to seven or eight regular routines or habits, that take your time but you tend not to think about too much.

Afterwards, list down the left hand side of the matrix up to seven or eight outcomes, impacts, or influences that you are seeking to achieve.

Then use the body of the matrix to explore how each habit or routine positively or negatively supports your intentions.

This analysis may help you better understand how you might want to work with those habits or routines over time.

You may find the following resources helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop

Fixing ‘That’s not me!’ – https://culturistics.co.uk/adventure/fixing-thats-not-me-video-and-transcript/
The 1-minute secret to forming a new habit – https://www.ted.com/talks/christine_carter_the_1_minute_secret_to_forming_a_new_habit
A simple way to break a bad habit – https://www.ted.com/talks/judson_brewer_a_simple_way_to_break_a_bad_habit

To catch up on past adventures you may have missed, feel free to browse our Adventures Library

Let us know how you get on.
Share your experience, your insights and your observation using the comments section at the bottom of the Linkedin post.

Please help us to extend and develop our community by sharing what you are doing. Click on the links below where you are most active, and then like or share the article to your network. Thank you for helping.

And share your progress and insights with the Twitter LbA community using #leadingbyadventure

Useful links:

Introduction to Leading by Adventure  |  What we mean by spirituality?  |  Why Adventure
Adventures to date   |  I did it, but it didn’t work very well   |  How do I know if it is working
Bringing this thinking into your meetings   |  Adventure & Mental Health
Leading by Adventure community   |  Explore Strategic Support options

Man and child walking along track - Image metaphor for self-coaching - Accessing your highest future potential

#030 – And I said to myself … Accessing your highest future potential

21/12/202127/07/2021 by Mike Clargo

What advice might your future self give to your current self? – Using elements of Theory-U to listen to your ‘highest future potential’

Please help us to get the word out in just two clicks – click here – then click the like button

Why take this challenge?

Access your unrealised (perhaps unnoticed) reserves of wisdom and insight

Build confidence in using your mind to take hold of who you will be in the future, and using it now in the present

Take greater control of who you really are and might be

Graphic image reflecting different pathways to take the adventure

You are a person of immense potential. The fact is you are capable of far more than you realise. And I could add in here “… and Jesus loves you!” – which, whilst entirely true, has been included mischievously here simply to extent the cliches.

But just because they are cliches does not make these things untrue. Rather it reflects the degree of difficulty we have in accepting the truth of them. And in doing something about them.

We have heard Eleanor Rooseveldt’s “It is never too late to become the person you might have been”. And we have been touched by Marianne Williamson’s invocation to shine. But deep down inside we feel they are really talking about someone else. Not me. And that unchallenged belief holds so many of us back from the joy of realising our own true potential. The elation and pride of special achievements. And sadly shackles them to a life of declining mediocrity.

Otto Scharmer talks about speaking from our “highest future potential”. That who we might be is available to us right now, in this moment, if only we have the faith to reach out to ourselves. And I believe he is right. I believe we can access that future version of ourselves who manifests all of the qualities that we hold dear. And that we can bring them present into each moment.

Many of the building blocks are already there in the recesses of our minds, we just need to emphasise them and bring them forward.

Presencing the best possible version of ourselves for that moment in time.

It takes some practice, and even more faith, but it can be done.

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

Self-coaching from future-you

Have you ever looked at a picture of yourself as a child, and wondered what you were thinking about what was going on in your life when the photo was taken. About some of the challenges and insecurities that seemed mountainous at the time? And if you could speak back to that person in the photograph what might you say to them?

Well I would like you to imagine a photograph taken right now, and an older and wiser you looking back on it 20 years hence.

The green track this week is to write a letter from that future us, that best possible version of ourselves, to ourselves at this moment. What would they say to us about who we are and the future ahead of us? How would they love, nurture, encourage, and inspire us to move forward on our journey? What might the say to help us move past our fears and insecurities? Our self-doubt, and sense of unworthiness? How might they say the words that give us the confidence to better grasp our own future realities?

Take a while to access that version of yourself, then look back at you now. Focus on yourself with love, understanding, and deep appreciation for your struggles (Incidentally, this IS how God sees you too!) And then let the words flow. Let them pour onto the page.

And when you re-read them as your current self. Let that love and acceptance and encouragement seep back into you. It may include challenges, and that is okay if they are spoken from love. But if anything dismissive has crept in – cross it out. That was not your highest future potential talking. It was simply some of your old insecure self seeping back in.

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

You may find the following resources helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop

A quote from Tony Robbins: “Its not about achieving the goal. It’s about who you become in the process.” Think about taking greater control of that ‘becoming’ – don’t leave its timing to chance.
meaningful conversation
Otto Scharmer’s paper on Ego to Eco: https://www.ottoscharmer.com/sites/default/files/Ego2Eco_Intro.pdf

To catch up on past adventures you may have missed, feel free to browse our Adventures Library

Let us know how you get on.
Share your experience, your insights and your observation using the comments section at the bottom of the Linkedin post.

And share your progress and insights with the Twitter LbA community using #leadingbyadventure

Useful links:

#004 – An old battered box

19/02/202126/01/2021 by Mike Clargo

This week’s adventure: Choosing a side. Then choosing to step into it. If there was one piece of ‘goodness’ you wish you could pass on – how might you do it? An old battered box of small treasure - metaphor for doing small good things

Why take this challenge?

The sense of beginning to re-empower ourselves as a small but distinct ‘force for good’

Developing the skill of passing on wisdom in practical meaningful ways that you know will add to the positive things in the world.

A sense of fulfilment in counterbalancing some of the bad things that are going on all around us.

For evil to triumph, all that is required is that good people do (or say) nothing.

Every day sees someone making the world a bit worse to gain some political or financial benefit. The stories we hear are usually putting someone down somewhere.

If that is all there was, if nobody was doing small things to counterbalance this, everything would get steadily worse. But there is a shared spirituality, a cascade of wisdom and hope, that sort of ‘keeps a light on in the window’.

What might it feel like to actively and deliberately contribute to that?

The old battered box is a metaphor for us. But what is the treasure we hold inside?

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

What’s in the box?

What is it that you think helps keep the World as a place you can see hope in?

Make a list of some of the things that give you hope and contribute to a more optimistic outlook on what might be.

If you struggle to make a good list, then accept that this may be a spiritual skill that it would be worthwhile you continuing to develop – keep the list open until you are happy it represents a worthy argument for hope.

Once you have the list, try and keep it in mind. Put it somewhere safe and revisit it every so often. If you keep it in mind, it will find its own way of leaking into others.

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

What is the box?

Once you have a list of the things that make life worthwhile, and it is hopefully leaking out a bit from you, think about how you might package one item from it in something interesting for others to benefit from.

Possibly the most spiritual packaging could be a poem or a painting.

If that thought puts you off, then we will put it in the red track, and consider some other options: a blog item, a YouTube video, a Linked in article or update, a contribution on our Linkedin group, a frame on your wall, a strapline on your signature.

Think about what you might do to package this thing you believe in to bless, encourage, or equip those around you.

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

Being the Box

For many of us, poetry, art and music seem to have some sort of hotline into our spirit. They can do things to our emotions and how we feel without hardly touching the sides of our rational thought.

But equally, for many of us, the last time we tried it was at school. We are embarrassed by our efforts, and the intervening time has done little to make us believe that our skill set has done anything other than atrophy.

But you don’t have to share the result. This red-track is for you and you alone. It isn’t about the result, it is about the process, and the influence that has on us.

So, give it ago. Pick up a pencil, or a brush, or an instrument, and have ago – just start, string things together, give your subconscious free rein enjoy itself. And enjoy yourself in throwing off whatever it is that is holding you back.

After you have finished, feel free to rip up, burn or delete whatever emerges physically. The real product is within you, not outside.

You may find the following resources helpful in tackling your challenge or in gaining further benefits from the skills and insights you develop

Random Acts of Kindness: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/good-news/seven-seas/random-acts-of-kindness

Pay if forward: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pay_it_forward

Guidance on sketching: https://www.wikihow.com/Sketch

St Paul writing to the people of Philippi – Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

Share the Linkedin version of the challenge
Share the Facebook version of the challenge
Tweet the challenge on Twitter
Share your progress and insights with the Linkedin LbA community
Share your progress and insights with the Facebook LbA community
And share your progress and insights with the Twitter LbA community using #leadingbyadventure

#036 – No Longer in Rome – Changing Habits

Why take this challenge?

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

Breaking old habits

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

Adopting new habits

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

Developing a new habit strategy

Useful links:

#030 – And I said to myself … Accessing your highest future potential

Why take this challenge?

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

Self-coaching from future-you

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

Bringing the best version of yourself

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

The potential of Theory U

Useful links:

#004 – An old battered box

Why take this challenge?

+ Green track - taking it in your stride

What’s in the box?

+ Blue track - a bit of a workout (click to open)

What is the box?

+ Red track - stepping up to bat (click to open)

Being the Box

Useful links: